NOW... that's what I call feeling Old.

The music industry many years ago decided to come out with the "NOW MUSIC" CDs.in order to get the new hip music to the fans in ONE CD. And might I just add, that CDs were just becoming widely popular at this time...It was a good move on their part, because you could just wait until the NOW MUSIC CD came out, and have all of your favorite songs on one tape and not have to buy every other cassette from multiple artists. (Back in this day and age, we were not fortunate enough to have iTunes, where you could pick and choose which songs you wanted from an album). This NOW phenomenon started originally in the United Kingdom, but made it's way Stateside in 1998 with the release of NOW 1. In 1998 I was 12 years old. The NOW 1 CD included such artists as: The Backstreet Boys, Janet Jackson, Aqua (remember the "Barbie Girl" song?), Spice Girls, Hanson, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, All Saints, and Everclear. 


This, was the biggest deal ever. Everyone who was anyone had this CD. And it wasn't like we all had CD burners to run to and make a copy of it for our friends. I actually believe that I had the first Now album on a CASSETTE tape. As crazy as that may sound. The last Now CD that I purchased (ok, most likely my Daddy bought it) was the Now CD vol. 5. This CD included such  tunes as, "It's gonna be me" by NSYNC, "Aaron's Party" by Aaron Carter, Mandy Moore, and a bunch of other hip hop/rap songs that didn't really appeal to me. Which was a big reason that I never bought another one. Instead of all of the great songs of the time period that I liked, they had songs on there that I hated. So I just saved my money to buy shoes, or a new purse. 


What made me write about this in the Blog is this: I saw an advertisement on TV the other day and almost choked. It was a commercial for the NOW CDs.... Now, let me first say this... NOW 5 that I purchased was released in 2000. I was a freshman in high school. They are now on NOW 36!!!! THIRTY SIX!!!! How ridiculous!?! It made me feel incredibly OLD. And not to mention I'll be turning 25 in January (that's January 21st, for those wondering when to send gifts...) (ha!) And seeing that didn't make it any better. 


I guess I was actually somewhat surprised that they were even still releasing CDs like that... since practically everyone has a computer with iTunes, and an MP3 player of some sort to play music on. Although, I will say if it is an artist that is one of my favorites, I buy the CD. There's just something about buying the CD, getting in the car, taking an hour to open the CD (honestly, who came up with the CD wrapping policy?) and then popping it in to the CD player and listening to the album. Now you can sign onto iTunes and bam, instantly the album is downloaded to your computer, plug in that MP3 player and BAM it's instantly on there. Now you're free to run around the neighbor hood and listen to your new music... or, in reality, you're free to look at a teenager in the mall with her parents who has got the MP3 player "earbuds" glued to his/her ears and has a horrible look on their face. (Almost as if they were embarrassed to be with their parents). 


Anyway... Things like this happen all the time to me... and more recently it seems the older I get, the more they happen. My mom and I had a conversation about computers/cell phones/TVs and how they have evolved just in my life time. Talk about crazy. And thank goodness for it. Or else I couldn't entertain you with this lovely blog post. 


Other things, such as, organizations that I've been involved with, have done the same type of thing. For example, I'm been involved with Share the Word Teens Encounter Christ (STW TEC) since September of 2000 when I went as a guest to TEC#21. I am now currently serving on the leadership team for the upcoming weekend in January. The number of this weekend you ask? I don't really want to tell you... but I will. It's #41. HOLY MOLY! 20 TECs later... and here I am. I was director for TEC #31, that was in September of 2005. It just seems crazy to me. And makes me feel old. 


That's my ranting for tonight... I needed a break from studying about Hitler's Nazi regime in Germany, and about communism in China. (who wouldn't?). It's exam week here at UNC-Pembroke... aka, the week every student slowly but surely loses their mind. So far so good... two more tomorrow, and this crazy history final is on Wednesday. So I will update again once the craziness is over! Have a wonderful week everyone! 

Hell week...... I mean, Hello exam week!

I think that colleges came up with "Finals Week" just so the students have a reason to complain about everything and freak out, and stress out more than they have the entire semester.... Because that's exactly what happens. The semester starts out so nice, there's a steady amount of work, and it increases through out the weeks... then all of a sudden, BAM! It's a week before Thanksgiving break and all of your teachers think that writing papers and studying for exams is more important to do than spend time with your family over the holiday. (which, I suppose for some people, it's an excuse to get away from their family!) So then Thanksgiving break happens, which is a welcome break for all (Especially those of us who live in Lumberton...) Thanksgiving break consists of writing papers, doing research for papers, and studying for the upcoming tests. Finals. The word alone can stop a college student dead in their tracks. A week of hell, basically. Late night studying, eating food that the food pyramid would be ashamed of, and drinking more caffeine than any person ever should.

Thanksgiving was wonderful. I went home to Wilmington and spent Thursday in Rocky Point with the family... Friday I spent with my mom running around Wilmington in the Black Friday craziness like FOOLS! Saturday I spent 6 hours at Port City Java writing a 15 page paper.... which was exactly what I wanted to do.... NOT! I was entirely too caffeinated once I got back to my mom's... She wasn't real thrilled with the hyper-activity either. (Oh well!)

I came back to Lumberton early Sunday afternoon and worked on another paper and a power point presentation that I had due.... Monday after class I was held hostage in the education lab (computer lab for the education majors) by my friend Mary so that I could help her with all of her papers and study for an exam. Today (well, Tuesday)... was the big day. Two HUGE BIG GIGANTIC ENORMOUS (you get the idea?) papers were due at 2pm, and 5pm. For my 2pm class, I also had to give a presentation. In between, in my 3:15 class, we had our FINAL exam.

Sigh.

Needless to say, at 6:30pm when my last class ended... I could not get to my car fast enough!

Of course, I should have walked a little slower... in a hurry to get to my car, all to go home and write up lesson plans that are due for tomorrow (Wednesday) and start on filling out my study guide for my history final.

6 days left of the semester, 1 exam down, 5 to go!

What part of Butter Biscuit did you not understand?

So, as you all know, I've described a few of the lovely encounters that I've had over the past couple of months while living in Robeson County. 
I went home this past weekend, and my mom mentioned this particular story to me, and I realized that it was blog worthy, and that my amazing Southern friends would really appreciate it. 


October 28, I got up extremely early to take the Praxis I in Fayetteville. My mom had come up the night before and was going with me. We decided to stop at Hardee's on our way out of town to grab something quick for breakfast. 
This Hardee's was a little abnormal from the majority of the others I had been to before... (mainly because it's in Lumberton...) The drive-thru was set up all weird, at the front end of the store, and for it being 7am, there were a ton of people in line. I made the comment that we should have gone inside after waiting 10 minutes.... but it was too late, we had already ordered. Bacon egg and cheese for mom, BUTTER biscuit for me, and a small coke. Finally the car in front of us was at the window and the food had passed from the window and into their car. 5 minutes later, they were still there, TALKING to an employee (perhaps about the weather?) through the window. After realizing that they were holding up the line, they drove off and we were at the window.


Here's where we realized this was a bad mistake... 
1. The total for our 2 biscuits and small drink was almost $7. (I knew that this was wrong)
2. The man at the window wanted to confirm our order, so he said, "You have a Steak and Egg biscuit, a butter biscuit, and small sprite?"
---NO! I told him the correct order, and 5 minutes later we got our bag. 
3. I drive off.... not out of the parking lot (I've learned) I tell mom to check my biscuit to make sure there is butter on the inside of it. 
4. No butter on the BUTTER biscuit. 
.....Excuse me?


That morning I was not in the mood for being messed with. And certainly not with my biscuit. Especially since Hardee's is one of the ONLY places I will eat butter biscuits from. (Chickfila- not in Lumberton, and Biscuitville-Also not in Lumberton). 


I decide to whip into a parking place, grab the biscuit, and march into the place and demand that they give me my BUTTER biscuit. 
I walked in, told the woman that I had ordered a BUTTER biscuit and that the biscuit I received has no butter inside. 
The woman looks at me, and says... "You wanted butter on it?"
....................................................................................................................
ARE YOU KIDDING ME LADY!?!?!?!?! YES I WANTED BUTTER ON MY BUTTER BISCUIT!


After seeing that I was going to be pretty adamant about this whole butter on my biscuit thing, she got me a new one, and I was on my way. 


Just a FYI for those Hardee's employees... when a Southern girl asks for a BUTTER biscuit. Make damn sure that there is butter inside of that biscuit. I would have hated to see my grandma's reaction to that. 


Maybe I've watched a few too many Paula Dean episodes.... but make sure the biscuit is buttered.... Or else. 
:) 

Thank you Oprah

First off, I've never been a huge fan of Oprah. Yes, I admire her for all the wonderful things that she has done for so many people all over the world. But it never failed that the one time I'd catch her show, it would be one of her "Oprah's biggest giveaways" where she basically hands out anything a woman (or person, for that matter) would want. The latest phones, computers, trips, etc... So of course, I also wanted all of these things, so it never seemed fair to me that I always hit the channel with that show on. 

This is her last year of her show, and Oprah has totally stepped up her game. What made me get interested in her, was an episode from a few weeks ago about child molestation. As horrible and terrifying as those crimes are, the show really stated a lot. Last week she had the entire original cast of the Sound of Music on. And being a huge fan of The Sound of Music, I loved it! 

Today, Portia de Rossi was on. She has just released her (I believe first) book entitled Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain. I plan on getting a copy of it ASAP... but one of the reasons I loved Oprah's interview with her was that it seemed to me that Portia was not there just to promote her book. It was a very raw and emotional interview that exposed Portia's darkest secrets. Not only did she live her live as a closeted lesbian, but she was also battling anorexia/bulimia/purging. She held nothing back concerning how she felt and how she saw herself through out those years. The Portia we all see today, happily married to Ellen DeGeneres, is the outcome of a vicious cycle of eating disorders and shame that molded her life. 

For anyone that has ever felt insecure about themselves or their body image; for anyone who has ever tried, attempted, or gone through with an eating disorder, this interview is a must see. I can speak from experience. I have gone through different cycles of anorexia a few times in my life. Each time, longing to learn something else, or to find what was actually going to make me happy in life. In each time that I went down this road, something tragic triggered it. When I was 13, a friend from church died. I couldn't handle his death because he was literally the only person who spoke to me at church youth group. Some people that were close to him decided to carry on his vegetarianism, so I joined in as well. Without knowing it, that was the moment I gave up this "normal" life that I was leading. I went from eating everything, to barely eating or drinking anything at all. I never got help at this point in my life, it was my cousin that helped me see what I was doing was crazy. Friendship and family got me through it. 

A few years later, in high school it happened again. I don't remember the exact moment that I felt insignificant, like no one cared...I just remember walking around New Hanover High School and feeling ugly, and fat and that no one even knew who I was because I was just so "plain jane". For me, this was short lived because of my best friend Lacey. She knew about what I had done and what had happened in middle school, and she saw what I was doing and jerked me out of the funk that I was in. 

In June of 2005, my Grandma Ann had a heart-attack and was gone instantly. Just like when I was 13, I couldn't handle it. All of a sudden my family was ripped apart. We relied on her for so much, and even though she would get on my nerves, a lot, I loved her so much and I needed her in my life. So, it began again. Lacey noticed the weight dropping, but it was summer and I appeased her by saying things like "come on Lace, It's bikini season I've got to look good!" or "I'm not losing weight, I swear, you know I would never do that to myself again." 

Right. One thing I've neglected to mention... tragedy brought on this sense of not being in control of my life. How could I be in control when obviously God was taking people away from me left and right. Yes, tragedy put me in this situation, but I kept myself there. It was part of my grieving process. Instead of crying in a room, I didn't eat. I felt guilty when I did eat. What I was putting in my body was the only thing I had control over, and that made my life "better". 

A month after my grandma died, I looked horrible. The person I was dating at the time, Matt,  saw it, Lacey had realized it was more than I was letting on to. So Matt told me straight up, "Tell your mom what's going on so she can get you some help, or I'm hanging up and calling her myself." With his help and support, I was able to tell my mom. I went to counseling sessions and saw a nutritionist to help me. And it did. 

5  years later, I still have some issues with weight. But I have come soo far from where I was in 2005. The fact that my jeans are size 8 doesn't make me want to puke anymore. I understand that my weight and the number on my clothes doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm healthy, and happy. When my father got sick in November of 2006, and in December when we realized that there was nothing that could be done, I made a promise to a good friend, Kevin that I wasn't going to go down the tragedy induced eating disorder again. And I'm very happy (and proud) to say that I haven't since then. When I met Cameron in December of 2007, I was at the smallest I've been in the past almost three years. I was still gaining the normal control over my weight and learning to lose the control over what I was and was not putting in my mouth. And I'm happy to say now, that I am perfectly healthy. My weight still fluctuates and it always will. I've been heavy, and I've been smaller. 

Today's Oprah episode solidified every feeling that I had going through those 3 times in my life. It made me see that I hadn't been alone, even though it had felt that way. I admire Portia so much for writing that book and doing the interview with Oprah. And I hope that every woman, young woman, girl, and teenage girls will see parts of it. Even more, I hope that for the women and girls that are going through the same thing now, will be able to see that there is hope. 

So, thanks Oprah, for the interview... and thank you also to Portia de Rossi for exposing yourself and your story to so many that needed that to be talked about. 

2 in one day? What is going on!

Alright, I know. And I'm sorry the previous post was sort of a downer, but I needed to write about it. And I feel like I can do that on here without judgement.

So, I made it through mid-terms (5 A's and 1 B!)
Fall break was amazing. I didn't do ANYTHING except hang out with my mom and had dinner with a close friend!

Now, I'm going to ask for some prayers!

I'm taking the Praxis I exam for entrance into the school of education.
I haven't gotten myself worked up about it, because I know I can take it again and again until I pass it (but I would LOVE to pass it the first time!)

So at 9:00am Thursday (October 28th) I will be starting the test at Fayetteville State University.

Say some prayers!!! And I'll update on the results as soon as I can! (OR check my facebook!)

Thanks to everyone in advance for the prayers, AND I love you all!!

AMM and playing Catch up

I can remember exactly where I was, what I was doing, who I was with, and what I said, how I felt, and what I did after receiving one phone call. My best friend Keri called me Sunday morning on March 30th to tell me that Annie was gone. I was dog sitting for Lacey, our other friend and Emma (her yorkie) and I were taking a walk around my apartment complex. I thought it was weird that Keri was calling me because it was Sunday and I knew she would be in dance rehearsals all day. I answered with our usual "Hey girl hey!!" but could immediately tell that something was wrong. Keri was in tears, and when she finally could stop the tears long enough, she told me. Annie had been the designated driver for her nephew's prom Saturday night. She was driving him, and two of his friends home after the party when another car who was speeding, driving without a license, and drunk crossed the median and hit them head on. the three passengers suffered minor injuries, but Annie was killed. Keri and I both cried on the phone. I didn't know what to think. I got off of the phone and called Cameron. He was supposed to come meet me for lunch anyway, he might as well get there early. I couldn't get ahold of my mom because she was at church. Rosemary, my room mate was home though. So while I waited for Cameron to get there, I was curled up with Rosemary on my couch, and with little Emma (again, the dog. I know, who names their dog Emma?). Finally church was over and I called my mom, and within minutes of talking to her, Cameron got there. He didn't know Annie, but he could comfort me. The last person I had to call was Lacey, who I was dog sitting for. She was out of town for the weekend. Although we couldn't get up with her until she got to my house that night. Annie, Lacey and Keri all grew up dancing together at a studio in Wilmington. I met Lacey in 9th grade, then Keri through Lacey and Annie through the two of them. 

Annie was the type of person that lit up a room when she entered. She was the life of the party, and had an unbelievable love for life and everyone around her. She was truly an amazing person. She was a Christian. A child of God, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, that was taken incredibly too soon. Annie lived to dance and for her Sorority, Alpha Gamma Delta. 

Since her passing, her Alpha Gamma Delta sisters have put on a charity dance event in memory of Annie. Last year I was in Charlotte for Cameron's best friends wedding and couldn't attend, but I was there this year and it was amazing. Seeing everyone there for Annie, and doing what Annie loved best, Dancing was beyond words. Her family was there, the whole sorority, girls she had danced with growing up, and tons of friends. It was truly an honor to be in the presence of all of these people and to share the love of Annie with everyone. They raised over $2,000.00 for the Annie Morgan Mcleod Scholarship at UNCW. (AWESOME!)

The point is, we're not guaranteed another day in this life of ours. So love you love, and tell them often. Because I certainly didn't think that seeing Annie at the beach bars at Wrightsville Beach one night on the way to meet up with Cameron would be the last time that I would see her. I'll always cherish the hug she gave me and the "call me if you get crunk and need a ride" that she told me. That was Annie. Always looking out for everyone else.

We love you Annie Morgan Mcleod. Thanks for being our guardian angel. 

Jason's Choreo- "Halo"

The link above is to a video of a dance that Jason Williams, one of Annie's best friends (and one of my friends). He choreographed this dance and it was shown at the 1st Annual AMM Dance Event. He lives in Los Angeles (right down the street from where I used to live!) And dances for a living. It's a very touching video. 

<3 you AMM. Always in hearts, never forgotten.

Back Country Roads

First, I would like to say that I feel the need to shout from a mountain top that I'm so happy I am now living in the "era" of GPS devices, iPhones, and "smart" technology. 


Secondly, I had a few rather entertaining stories of traveling between Lumberton to Wilmington and thought that my family and I shouldn't be the only ones to find how humorous they are. 


First trip home from Lumberton:
On my first trip home from Lumberton, while driving along NC Hwy 87, there are all the gorgeous farms loaded with crops. Cotton fields are everywhere, and even some giant fields that are used as pastures. One such field caught my eye while driving by, there was some sort of machine spraying what I thought was water onto the field. Upon slowing down (because, of course, there's never that much traffic) I saw that this machine looked like a tri-pod for an old video camera and was shooting what I now could see was some sort of brown mystery water out of it. I thought to myself, "This is so cool. I would never be able to see things like this if I were still living in Wilmington, or Los Angeles." After I got home, mom hopped in the car and we rode to Rocky Point to see my grandparents (Wayway and Papa). Papa grew up on a farm, and still lives on one, so I knew he would be able to tell me what the odd tri-pod machine was that I had seen on the way home. So I explained to him in detail everything I had seen. Papa then looked at me and said, "You do know what that was being sprayed outta there don't you?"
My reply: "It was brown, maybe some type of fertilizer?"
Papa: "It was hog shit." 
Me: "Oh. Fertilizer it was."


I couldn't believe that I had been basking in how amazing it was so see something like that. I had been excited to see hog shit flying out of a machine. 


Trip home number 3
Yesterday I realized that I needed some things from home and decided to go down just for the night and come back this afternoon. Last time I got stuck in horrible traffic on a Friday afternoon on I-74 10 miles from my house so I decided to kill 2 birds with one stone and put Wayway and Papa's address in the GPS as my destination. One, I'd get to see them and two, I'd avoid the crazy traffic by detouring through Rocky Point. So off I went. 
Everything was great, driving along singing to my 90's music remix and following the way of the GPS. The route I was going was basically the same as if I was going to my mom's but I turned off onto Elwell Ferry Road before I came to Riegalwood. So I turned left onto Elwell Ferry and kept going. 
All of a sudden, I was slowing down and realizing that there was no more road. 
Yes, that's right, I said there was NO more ROAD. (Come on, you can't be as shocked as I was).
I looked up at Judy (GPS) and saw her depiction of the road ending, a creek starting, then the road beginning on the other side of the creek. Judy neglected, however, to tell me how to get across the creek. Me being me, I had no idea what to do. And of course I haven't had my car outfitted to turn into a speed boat (although I'm really considering it now). So I then think maybe, it's a very tiny one lane bridge like in Sunset Beach.... That thought leaves my mind when I look around and see a sign that says "FERRY: 6 PASSENGERS PER CAR PER TRIP" 


Oh. 


A Ferry. 


Okay, I can handle that. Straining my neck to look for the ferry, I can't see one. I figured I should at least be able to see it, because ferries are normally a large type of vessel. All of a sudden, a stop sign that is attached to what looks like a Rail Road Crossing sign goes up, and a truck drives out. Now I was intrigued. How in the world did that truck cross the creek?!?!
Luckily for me, there was a car in front of me. So I followed their lead. I edged up to the sign and saw what looked like something straight out of the "we just figured out what steam could to for engines industrial revolution". This "FERRY" was not as long as some Trailors are wide. There was no way my car was going to fit on there along with the car in front of me. 
Then, the man operating the "ferry" said something in a country accent so broken and barely recognizable that I couldn't understand what he had said. But, he did wave his arm motioning me to come down... So I did. Now I'm hoping that the ferry is free, because of course I don't have cash on me... (maybe my looks would work?) So now I'm on the ferry. He starts it up and we head straight across. I get off, drive half a mile, and turn onto Hwy 53 on my way to Rocky Point. 


Never, ever in my life did I think I would have been in these two situations. 
Papa (ever full of wisdom and knowledge) later told me that the ferry was the Carver Creek Ferry and was free since the state operated it. He also said that he and Wayway had driven up there one day to go on the ferry but they wouldn't let them because the water was too high. The Ferry is pulled on a cable system setup under the water (there was no steering wheel). 


Small town North Carolina has a whole new meaning to me now. 
And, I also have new directions courtesy of Papa of how to get from Lumberton to Rocky Point without taking the ferry. 


You know, in case the water is too high. :)