Blessed.

I'm just going to go ahead and apologize to my mother, who I know will read this... This isn't going to be an easy one for her to read, and I'll probably blog about this same subject again later this week... So, Mama, this is your warning. 


December is a hard month for me, and my family. This year I tried to just go with the flow and face each day as it came... Which I have to say, was easier to do than I thought it would be. This time four years ago I was facing the hardest, saddest, emotional, trying, unfair time of my life. My Daddy, the man I loved more than anything, was dying. And I couldn't do anything about it. It took me months after he died to realize, finally, that he was okay. He was better than okay. He was in Heaven with God, and all of our other family members and friends who had gone before him. Once I realized this, and in partial thanks to the grief counselor that I was seeing (and still do, on occasion) I was able to let go of all of the bad memories that I had of that November and December of 2006. I'm not sure what I would have done, or where I would be without my mom, family and a few select close friends that were with me through out this entire time. I learned during this time that I had amazing friends. (I already knew I had an amazing family). If it hadn't of been for Lacey, and Kevin, I don't know what I would have done. Kevin was there non-stop, 24-7, whenever I needed him. 


Thursday will be four years since my Daddy passed away. I'm not really sure what to think about it... This year has been so crazy anyway. From moving to Los Angeles, parting ways with Cameron and moving back to NC, getting into school and moving to Lumberton and starting school again... I know that my Dad would be so proud of me for everything that I've accomplished since Dec. 23, 2006. I've got a degree for Cape Fear Community College, and I'm working on this bachelor's degree in elementary education. He wasn't one to give praise too often, he never really handled words and feelings well... but I know he is proud of me. And for that, I am blessed. And thankful. I had the most amazing father a girl could ever want. He gave me anything I ever needed or wanted. I was spoiled rotten by him. And I loved every minute of it. (Although, my mother does not find the "Daddy would have gotten it for me" line very funny anymore...)


When he left this world, I was in such a dark place, not knowing what to do next, or where to go, or how to handle my emotions. I've been on such a journey since then. I've grown up so much. And I've truly become my own person. And I'd like to think that everything I've accomplished since then, has been because I've had an angel watching over me. A very loving angel, with a sarcastic tone...even if it wasn't because of an angel, I know he's watching me, and getting to see me live my life in a different way. And for that, I believe that he is also Blessed by a heavenly view. 

Greensboro Survived!

Well, Greensboro survived Justine and I getting together for another time! That city must have built up a big tolerance when we lived there for our freshman year of college... Or, perhaps we're just more grown up and mature than we were back then.... (Opinions of a certain mother that may read this blog are not welcome...)

I mentioned before that I was also going to be able to meet Matt, Justine's boyfriend while I was there. The three of us got to go out for dinner to Monterey, a Mexican restaurant in Greensboro. (It was really good!) Matt was already a little higher on my scale than others because he's  a Duke fan. So, +5 for him. Although I did take away a few points for him telling me that if Carolina was playing outside of the ACC he would route for them... To each their own, but, not a true Duke fan in my book. (I mean honestly, do you think that there are ANY Tarhole, I mean, Tarheel fans that route for Duke when they play outside the ACC...? NO!) The fact that he has a good sense of humor added another +5. And he puts up with Justine, so that's like +200 at least! haha, but he seems like a really great guy, and I'm looking forward to getting to know him better.

Saturday morning I was up SUPER early against my will to drive from Greensboro to Raleigh for a TEC meeting. Which went great, and I must brag about my Wheat team... this group of youth/older youth (use the term older in whatever way you wish, I'm not going to get in trouble...) has to be the most productive group I've ever seen! We have gotten SOO much accomplished for the weekend in January already! They just don't stop! And it's so awesome and amazing to see the bonds that are forming with the youth as well. That's one of my favorite aspects of TEC. The friendships. They last a lifetime.

We did have to shorten our meeting today, everyone got away early because it started SNOWING in Raleigh and had been snowing further west where a big hunk of our team had come from. So we didn't want anyone taking chances on getting home safely... So I got to drive all the way back to Wilmington in Snow (Raleigh), Sleet (until exit 364 on I-40) and rain until I got into my driveway. I've never liked driving in rain.. who does? It's not fun, and it scares me... and I especially hate driving in the rain while it's DARK. And on a highway. Needless to say I was happy when I pulled into the driveway!

Going to church tomorrow, and then I'm going to get started on all my baking and candy making for Christmas! And finish up the last minute craft needs for some of my Christmas presents. Living on student loans and mama's money makes for a slim Christmas for friends/family this year! But, it's handmade/baked by me, so at least it's from the heart! Hope you all have a wonderful and merry Christmas if I don't get to blog before then, although with some of the things that will happen this week, I'm sure that I'll be able to get a post in at some point!

Greensboro bound!

Tomorrow morning I am headed to Greensboro for the day/night to see Justine, one of my best friends! Saturday I'll be in Raleigh for the day for a TEC meeting, then back home in Wilmington that night! 


I'm going to Greensboro for a few given reasons... to see my best friend and spend time with her, obviously. I hope that I'll be catching up with an old friend, Ben, that I used to work with at Gap while I'm there as well. And... drummer-al please, meet Justine's boyfriend, Matt. 


Unfortunately, for Matt, he has no idea what he is getting himself into. Yes, Justine is a wonderful person... and Katy, her mom, has approved of Matt, so it's just a matter of Matt meeting me. Which he seems pretty excited about... Oh if he only knew. You see, Justine and I have known each other since 2001. That's 9 years. We've been best friends, since our senior year of high school (2004). That's 6 years. We were roommates our first year of college... and have been through SO much together since then. You name it, it's happened... boyfriends, family problems, medical problems, springbreaks, school, me moving across the country, death, losing friendships with other friends, and did I mention boyfriends? Because Justine always has interesting boy drama. :-D (Love you J!) 


Justine and I haven't lived in the same city since we were both at UNC-Greensboro our first year. I've been in Wilmington, Los Angeles, and now Lumberton since then! I'm not really sure what I would do without her, and she would say the same for me. (she better...) 


So, needless to say, with such a long history between the two of us, Justine and I have a very interesting friendship. And the way we act when we are together always seems to resort back to freshman year of college. Telling insane stories of all the crazy things we did (especially on each other!), remembering all the boys we had crushes on, and who dated who... (that's another interesting fact about Justine and I... we have 2 ex's in common.. no worries, though. We each dated them at different times!) 


So, I feel bad for Matt. Justine has tried to prepare him for what meeting me will be like. And for what he should expect of my stellar personality. Some say I'm sarcastic... (who would have guessed?) and I can be pretty abrupt about some things... And as I said before.. Justine and I can get pretty crazy when we're around each other. 


I'm very eager and excited to meet Matt! And, all I'm going to say is that, at least he is a DUKE fan... This girl can handle that! :-D


Let the crazy reunion in the 'Boro commence! (And, say a Prayer for Matt...)

Praxis I, Round 2.

If I ever have a chance to be part of a school reform movement, I will gladly make a stand for students having to take a standardized test to be accepted into a teaching program at a university. 


1. Math and Kara are not friends. We never have been, and we never will be. It's just the type of relationship that will never work... 
2. I have ADD. Yes, I have meds, but it's still hard for me to test for long periods because of it. 
3. STANDARDIZED TESTS ARE STUPID!!!!!


Okay. Sorry, I just needed to get that out... Now, My second attempt with the Praxis I (entrance exam needed to be placed into the school of education for NC)... was today at 9am. 


Monday morning at 9am... what was I thinking? So, I went. 


Results:
Math- up one point
Reading- up six points
Writing---didn't retake writing, but I passed it the first time... 
What does all this mean? It means, with my scores totaled, I missed the 522 mark (what I need to get into the program) by TWO FREAKING POINTS.


ARE YOU KIDDING ME PRAXIS??? Not happy. 


After I was finished, the test administer suggested that I retake the Writing portion in hopes that I could bring up my score on that part. By doing this, I basically forget about the writing score I had before, and by doing that, I needed to pass the Writing by 4 points to make up for what I lacked in the Math department. So, the center I took the test in had an opening today and I went ahead and was able to take the writing as well... Math and Reading scores are given immediately because it is computer based... I have to wait a couple of weeks for the Writing to come back. 


All while thinking happy thoughts, saying lots and lots of prayers, and perhaps brushing up on my Harry Potter spells... 


So think good thoughts! I'll be sure to keep the blog updated once I know the final results. If I pass, I'll be interviewing with the School of Education once I get back for the start of the upcoming semester. The day classes start... nothing like the last minute! And if I don't pass, I'll be changing my ENTIRE schedule and will be there an extra semester. 


I feel really good about the test this time as a whole though... and if you read this blog: Butter Biscuit then you would know how the morning went of the first time I took the Praxis... 


This time is was sooo much better.......






There was butter ON my biscuit. 

NOW... that's what I call feeling Old.

The music industry many years ago decided to come out with the "NOW MUSIC" CDs.in order to get the new hip music to the fans in ONE CD. And might I just add, that CDs were just becoming widely popular at this time...It was a good move on their part, because you could just wait until the NOW MUSIC CD came out, and have all of your favorite songs on one tape and not have to buy every other cassette from multiple artists. (Back in this day and age, we were not fortunate enough to have iTunes, where you could pick and choose which songs you wanted from an album). This NOW phenomenon started originally in the United Kingdom, but made it's way Stateside in 1998 with the release of NOW 1. In 1998 I was 12 years old. The NOW 1 CD included such artists as: The Backstreet Boys, Janet Jackson, Aqua (remember the "Barbie Girl" song?), Spice Girls, Hanson, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, All Saints, and Everclear. 


This, was the biggest deal ever. Everyone who was anyone had this CD. And it wasn't like we all had CD burners to run to and make a copy of it for our friends. I actually believe that I had the first Now album on a CASSETTE tape. As crazy as that may sound. The last Now CD that I purchased (ok, most likely my Daddy bought it) was the Now CD vol. 5. This CD included such  tunes as, "It's gonna be me" by NSYNC, "Aaron's Party" by Aaron Carter, Mandy Moore, and a bunch of other hip hop/rap songs that didn't really appeal to me. Which was a big reason that I never bought another one. Instead of all of the great songs of the time period that I liked, they had songs on there that I hated. So I just saved my money to buy shoes, or a new purse. 


What made me write about this in the Blog is this: I saw an advertisement on TV the other day and almost choked. It was a commercial for the NOW CDs.... Now, let me first say this... NOW 5 that I purchased was released in 2000. I was a freshman in high school. They are now on NOW 36!!!! THIRTY SIX!!!! How ridiculous!?! It made me feel incredibly OLD. And not to mention I'll be turning 25 in January (that's January 21st, for those wondering when to send gifts...) (ha!) And seeing that didn't make it any better. 


I guess I was actually somewhat surprised that they were even still releasing CDs like that... since practically everyone has a computer with iTunes, and an MP3 player of some sort to play music on. Although, I will say if it is an artist that is one of my favorites, I buy the CD. There's just something about buying the CD, getting in the car, taking an hour to open the CD (honestly, who came up with the CD wrapping policy?) and then popping it in to the CD player and listening to the album. Now you can sign onto iTunes and bam, instantly the album is downloaded to your computer, plug in that MP3 player and BAM it's instantly on there. Now you're free to run around the neighbor hood and listen to your new music... or, in reality, you're free to look at a teenager in the mall with her parents who has got the MP3 player "earbuds" glued to his/her ears and has a horrible look on their face. (Almost as if they were embarrassed to be with their parents). 


Anyway... Things like this happen all the time to me... and more recently it seems the older I get, the more they happen. My mom and I had a conversation about computers/cell phones/TVs and how they have evolved just in my life time. Talk about crazy. And thank goodness for it. Or else I couldn't entertain you with this lovely blog post. 


Other things, such as, organizations that I've been involved with, have done the same type of thing. For example, I'm been involved with Share the Word Teens Encounter Christ (STW TEC) since September of 2000 when I went as a guest to TEC#21. I am now currently serving on the leadership team for the upcoming weekend in January. The number of this weekend you ask? I don't really want to tell you... but I will. It's #41. HOLY MOLY! 20 TECs later... and here I am. I was director for TEC #31, that was in September of 2005. It just seems crazy to me. And makes me feel old. 


That's my ranting for tonight... I needed a break from studying about Hitler's Nazi regime in Germany, and about communism in China. (who wouldn't?). It's exam week here at UNC-Pembroke... aka, the week every student slowly but surely loses their mind. So far so good... two more tomorrow, and this crazy history final is on Wednesday. So I will update again once the craziness is over! Have a wonderful week everyone!