Blessed.

I'm just going to go ahead and apologize to my mother, who I know will read this... This isn't going to be an easy one for her to read, and I'll probably blog about this same subject again later this week... So, Mama, this is your warning. 


December is a hard month for me, and my family. This year I tried to just go with the flow and face each day as it came... Which I have to say, was easier to do than I thought it would be. This time four years ago I was facing the hardest, saddest, emotional, trying, unfair time of my life. My Daddy, the man I loved more than anything, was dying. And I couldn't do anything about it. It took me months after he died to realize, finally, that he was okay. He was better than okay. He was in Heaven with God, and all of our other family members and friends who had gone before him. Once I realized this, and in partial thanks to the grief counselor that I was seeing (and still do, on occasion) I was able to let go of all of the bad memories that I had of that November and December of 2006. I'm not sure what I would have done, or where I would be without my mom, family and a few select close friends that were with me through out this entire time. I learned during this time that I had amazing friends. (I already knew I had an amazing family). If it hadn't of been for Lacey, and Kevin, I don't know what I would have done. Kevin was there non-stop, 24-7, whenever I needed him. 


Thursday will be four years since my Daddy passed away. I'm not really sure what to think about it... This year has been so crazy anyway. From moving to Los Angeles, parting ways with Cameron and moving back to NC, getting into school and moving to Lumberton and starting school again... I know that my Dad would be so proud of me for everything that I've accomplished since Dec. 23, 2006. I've got a degree for Cape Fear Community College, and I'm working on this bachelor's degree in elementary education. He wasn't one to give praise too often, he never really handled words and feelings well... but I know he is proud of me. And for that, I am blessed. And thankful. I had the most amazing father a girl could ever want. He gave me anything I ever needed or wanted. I was spoiled rotten by him. And I loved every minute of it. (Although, my mother does not find the "Daddy would have gotten it for me" line very funny anymore...)


When he left this world, I was in such a dark place, not knowing what to do next, or where to go, or how to handle my emotions. I've been on such a journey since then. I've grown up so much. And I've truly become my own person. And I'd like to think that everything I've accomplished since then, has been because I've had an angel watching over me. A very loving angel, with a sarcastic tone...even if it wasn't because of an angel, I know he's watching me, and getting to see me live my life in a different way. And for that, I believe that he is also Blessed by a heavenly view.