Oprah did it again...

I've blogged about Oprah before... when she interviewed Portia de Rossi about her new book that talked about her intensely painful and physically debilitating eating disorder. Portia de Rossi did wonders for me during that interview... to read more about that go here: Thank you, Oprah.

**And Mama, because I know you're reading this... just print it out and read it another time. You'll thank me for it later... (It's about daddy...)**

And Dora, I know you're reading too... the ending may get to you.  :) But, I love you both.

I had DVR'ed an episode today and had no idea what it was about until I started watching it...
Charles "peanut" Tillman, a star quarter back for the Chicago Bears and his wife had a child 3 years ago who developed a heart condition that the only way to save the babys' life was a heart transplant. 400 miles away, another mother was losing a battle with her son who had developed a condition that was unknown. This mother decided to take her son off of life support and donated his heart. Her son's heart was what saved Tillman's daughter.

For anyone that really knows me, knows that my Dad had a liver transplant in 1988, I was 2 years old. My Dad had developed liver failure and the cause was unknown at the time (and still was when he passed away). The only option for a second chance of life was a transplant. Weeks later, prayers were answered and on January 24, 1988 Dad got a new liver. January 24th is my mom's birthday, and 3 days after mine. The years after the transplant were hard and difficult and he was in and out of the hospital because of complications. But because of someone else's loss, I was able to have my father in my life for 18 more years.
Without that, I wouldn't have known him the way that I did.

That was 23 years ago. Which seems impossible. 1, I can't believe I'm 25. but also because it just doesn't seem that long ago. I remember that time period. I remember living at my grandma's while my mom an Dad were in Richmond, VA at the hospital. I remember it. People and experts say that a person can't recall memories until a certain age... but I don't care what anyone tells me. I remember walking to the park with two neighbors while my mom and dad left to go to the hospital so I wouldn't see them leave.

Because someone else lost their life, my Dad gained his again. Of all of the things I've been given in the 25 years I've been on this earth, that has been the best gift of them all. The doctors said that the new liver would maybe last 7-10 years.
Guess what? It lasted for 18.
Dad passed away on December 23, 2006, a month shy of 19 years with that liver.
Because someone had chosen to be an organ donar, my Dad was able to see me grow up into an adult and got to see me graduate from high school and start to embark on a new journey in my life. He saw me go to 3 proms and sing at school and church. He came to the TEC weekend when I was a director for the HOOT and saw me go on my first date (not thrilled about it, but still). He got to see it. He was a huge part of my life and will always be, no matter what.

While he did get to see all of that, he won't get to see everything. He won't meet the man I'll marry, he won't walk me down the alise, he won't know his grandchildren, and he won't see me graduate (finally) from college.

That angers me. It's not fair that I was 20 years old when my dad died. And it's certainly not fair that he won't get to see everything I'm going to do in my life. But I've come a long way in the almost 5 years that he's been gone. I've been able to accept the things that he was able to see, and as much as it hurts and pains me that my wedding will be different than all of my other friends, I'm okay with it. It took 5 years to get to that point... And I still don't think it's fair, but that doesn't mean that I stop living my life because of it.

I've come so far in four and a half years. I'm 25, I'm in school learning to become a teacher which is truly my passion, I have the best friends a girl could ask for, and a slightly crazy but amazing nonetheless family that oddly enough, I wouldn't trade for the world. So many people have gotten me through the past few years, with out Cameron and Keri I'd hate to know where I'd be. Even though it didn't work between Cameron and I, he showed me how to live life. I was so afraid of life when I met him, he truly came into my life at the right time. And I'm sure my Dad had something to do with that.
He led me to other friends that I still have. He got me to see that I can control my life.

And I'll never be able to thank him enough for it.

I'll never be able to thank the person that lost their life to save my Dad.. but because of him or her, I was able to know my father.

So thank you Oprah, again, for making me realize how amazing my life has been. And how amazing this world and the people in it really are.